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Let’s be real, trying to use dating apps, whether it’s for real romance and relationships or simply a decent hookup, can honestly be the Ninth Circle of Hell. We all want to find ways to make meaningful connections with people, but on top of the inevitability of running into creeps, people who straight up don’t respect you, and trying to figure out what to make your bio or what photos to choose, many dating apps and sites don’t rank very high on inclusivity and therefore usability. Let's be real — most things in our society are designed for white, straight, cisgender, non-disabled people. That means many apps may lack safe spaces for people with disabilities, people of color, or people in the LGBTQ community, and especially transgender people and those with varying gender identities. That's particularly important to know since most young people no longer identify as straight.

What’s the good news here? New dating apps are constantly turning up — and more than that, dating apps that have been around forever are becoming more inclusive to reflect people’s needs. We spoke with people about their experiences with dating apps, and solved some mysteries about which ones are inclusive or not so you don’t have to.

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Here are the most inclusive dating apps around in 2018:

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OKCupid

Sure, OKCupid is historically pretty heterosexual, but the app has actually changed quite a bit in recent years. Its inclusivity has naturally increased since it was acquired by Match back in 2011, when it added one incredibly important protection that made it a better fit for LGBTQ people who want to use it: OKCupid has an “I don’t want to see or be seen by straight people” option, which at least hypothetically makes it a safer bet for more people in the LGBTQ community. However, it’s important to note that the app is still lacking in inclusivity of gender identity options, due to the fact that its “I’m looking for” options are limited to men, women, or “everybody.”

Loni, a non-binary Afro-Latinx person says they’ve found comfort in OKCupid more than any other dating app. “I love OKCupid's range as far as gender identity and sexual/romantic orientations go,” they told Teen Vogue. “I'm able to label myself and be seen as non-binary and queer. Being closeted, there are very little spaces I can do that, period.” While the app is definitely good for these things, Loni also says that the option to not see or be seen by straight people makes them feel much safer. “In areas I don't feel safe, such as home, I can turn that on and prevent harassment or even a potential outing.”

Another incredible feature that the app provides is small markers that indicate someone’s support of organizations focused on social issues, like Planned Parenthood, and other organizations and causes. “It helps me weed out individuals who may swipe just to harass me and ultimately forces people like that to move on from me or to find me on another platform, which has happened. I've just had much better experiences overall with OKCupid,” Loni said.

Bumble

The app was originally founded as a “feminist” alternative to Tinder, designed to put women in the position of power, according to its founder Whitney Wolfe. Bumble, which has recently expanded to include people who want to network and create community, and find all different kinds of relationships and not exclusively romantic ones, has interesting features that other dating apps don’t. For example, when a man and a women match, only the woman can message first.

“I definitely enjoy the ‘on my terms’ aspect of Bumble,” says Koby O., a queer woman who has tried a variety of dating apps before. “I liked that when I matched with men [on Bumble], they couldn't message me first, but if I matched with a woman or non-binary person, either one of us could message first. It definitely reduces the instances of grossness or inappropriate solicitation,” she told Teen Vogue.

And to kick things up a notch, Bumble also recently introduced Bumble BFF and Bumble Bizz, two subsets of the app that respectively allow you to find friend matches and also match with people you might want to do business with. We guess you could say that there are lots of kinds of relationships buzzing over at Bumble.

Bumble's foundations are pretty heteronormative, but they definitely deserve credit for expanding the platform to include all types of romantic and non-romantic matches.

HER (previously Dattch)

HER, which was originally called “Dattch,” generated tons of talk when it first hit the dating app scene — mostly because it was deemed the first of its kind — a dating app exclusively for queer women, created by queer women. Before it existed, there wasn’t necessarily a mainstream dating app that was made specifically for women who love women, and that was inclusive of lesbian, bisexual, and queer women.

However, because the title of the app and the space itself feels more reserved for one specific identity — people who identify as a woman — it comes off as less inclusive for non-cisgender queer people who don’t necessarily identify as women and who may also be looking for women. However, this year the app relaunched and rebranded to better represent the spectrum of people from the LGBTQ community who use or want to use HER. The app and website also recently launched its communities feature along with the rebrand, which features 11 groups of various communities people might identify with. According to TechCrunch, the communities include a space for the transgender community, a group for womxn of color, transgender womxn specifically, and more.

LGBTQutie

The new app LGBTQutie was created because the co-founders saw that most dating apps are designed for heterosexual relationships, or if they are LGBTQ inclusive, they focus on gay men or lesbian women. According to a release, seeing that lack of community for LGBTQ people looking for long-term relationships, friendships, or meaningful relationships was frustrating, so they created LGBTQutie, which is meant to be a more inclusive, relationship-focused app for the LGBTQ community.

The app also provides LGBTQ news and blogs that focus on mental health in relationships, which talk about what habits create healthy relationships, which is super key no matter what kind of relationship you have with someone. Another feature that the app has is the in-app video messages that users can send to each other, so that they can verify they aren’t being duped or catfished, and feel safer.

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Glimmer

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There’s a relatively new dating app, Glimmer, that comes with the promise of going “beyond just looks” in order to “connect users based on shared interests and lifestyles.' When so many dating apps like Tinder and even more inclusive ones like HER sometimes put so much emphasis on physical looks and the importance of body type in the person you date, it can be alienating for disabled people. Swipe features and photo features in dating apps can promote making quick, or shallow judgments based on looks, prompting a pretty frustrating experience for people with any kind of disabilities.

While Glimmer is not solely for disabled people, it does provide a more inclusive space for disabled people who are looking to date without experiencing hate or rejection because of their disabilities. It was even created by someone inspired by his brother with cognitive disabilities, Geoffrey Anderson, according to Mashable.

One of the features of the app is that it provides an easy way to add a disability to your profile, although disclosure is not mandatory. The app includes the ability to choose from a list of disabilities users might have, including autism, deaf-blindness, deafness, hearing impairment, intellectual disabilities, and physical disabilities among others.

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Writer and journalist Keah Brown says this has been one of the most frustrating things about trying to date for her. “There are people who have only matched me because they wanted to try me out and see how it was to be with a disabled person, people who have matched with me just to recant and say they aren’t interested because they Googled me and didn’t realize I was disabled, and there’s weeks on end with no matches when I do post full body pictures and I know disability is part of that,” she told Teen Vogue. “Disabled people date, we fall in love and everything but dating apps don’t reflect that,” she said. “There’s no categories that cater to us or ways to filter out people who prove to be terrible people simply because they find out you have a disability after you match with them. Dating apps can stand to be more accessible too, create more filters, and make navigation easier.”

Thurst

This one-of-a-kind dating app brands itself as the first dating app for queer people of all genders and sexualities. Thurst is also the only LGBTQ dating app that caters to queer, cisgender, transgender, and non-binary people of color in the LGBTQ community. The founder of Thurst, Morgen Bromell, created it when they found that people of color in the LGBTQ community lacked safe spaces in online dating, and built Thurst in the hope of building a sense of community — but not just any community, one that challenges the more heteronormative, violent circumstances that other apps perpetuate within the dating world.

According to its website, “Thurst is developed by queer black folk and queer people of color,” which is exactly why they don't tolerate any “racism, sexism, transphobia, homophobia, shaming, or harassment.”

Now that you know what inclusive dating apps are out there, you’re all set to go on your journey of making meaningful connections with a little less fear of stumbling upon a garbage fire in your dating app matches.

Related:Women Say They Get Harassed On These Apps the Most

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